The Sand Job

This story was entered in the Verdant Owl 2026 Short Story Challenge. It finished top 64 in the Urban Fantasy Genre🙂

“You called?” Jaz leaned against the stoop of the old university building. She chewed her gum loudly and didn’t look up from her phone when the door opened.

“Oh.”

She looked up annoyed.

“Well?”

“Y-yeah.” It was a 20 something white boy with cropped brown hair and a jaw that he took some effort to stick out. He took a moment to collect himself at the door and leaned against the door frame.

“The recruit didn’t tell us that you’d be so hot. The name’s Derrick,” he said.

“I have a cat that’s older than you.” Trixie. She’d just reached her 22^nd birthday and was living her senior years in luxury.

“Cat ladies are hot.”

“Ew.” Jaz pushed past him. Her line of work took her to many different places. One job took her on an all-expenses-paid trip to a remote island on the southern tip of Italy. She had no complaints working as a Plumber. But, she would write a complaint this time. Because now her job forced her to mingle amongst the stench and hubris of fresh adult men in a culture that bred even more offensive older men. There was a strong scent of marijuana in the air mixed with booze and musk. She noticed bodies strewn all across the sofas and the floor. They were breathing. She assumed.

“What’s the deal with them?”

“Party last night,” the boy, Derrick, said. Jaz could only think of him as a boy. Once she passed 25, she started seeing the early 20s as infinitely far removed from herself. Now, she was 30. They were kids. And the snobby kind.

Jaz looked at her phone. “Where is Peytr Ivanovich? I can only do my job with him.”

“Do we really need him? Three’s a crowd. And I’ve always liked my women more mature.”

She stared at him and brought her phone to her ear. She suddenly heard a ring come from down the hall and she marched forward. Derrick tried to catch up with her but she’d reached the sound first. It was behind a small door in the back corner of the space.

The door opened and the rancid smell of piss hit her in the face.

“Jesus Christ!” Jaz covered her nose. There was a group of 10 boys stuffed into the closet. It was dark and their faces were only illuminated by the little bit of sunlight that reached this far into the house. The phone rang loudly in the pocket of the boy in front. They all stood still staring blankly ahead.

“Peytr?” He didn’t acknowledge her. None of them acknowledged her. “Hey, Peytr!” She snapped her manicured fingers in his face and he did not move.

“Recruits ain’t allowed to speak unless instructed to do so.” Derrick said this like she was meant to be impressed. All it succeeded in doing was disgusting her.

“Recruit Peytr! Answer the fine lady!” Derrick said.

“Sir! Yes, sir!” He roused. “Yes, I’m Peytr.” He returned to staring blankly.

“All right! I’m not doing this.” Jaz pulled Peytr away. He struggled against her for a second but she was stronger than him.

“You can’t do that!” Derrick protested. She wished to rid his name from her mind already.

“I have a job to do,” she said. She didn’t raise her voice. Her dark piercing eyes had forced him to stand down.

“Now, tell me where to go.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

This job had only gotten worse. Jaz wished that she could return to the piss closet. Her job as a Plumber was simple enough. Travel to and perform maintenance on portals. It usually did not take long. An hour. Tops. Then, she was free to do whatever else she wanted in a beautiful city. But who in their right mind had thought of installing a portal in the center of a frat house? When this job was over, she would not stay. That was if she finished the job before nightfall. Jaz had a feeling that she wasn’t going to be hungry.

They had led her to the lightly used study room where the portal sat between two empty bookcases. The portals were meant for teleportation around the world. The Keeper, who owned the portals and was in charge of their upkeep, was a job passed down through long family lines. Apparently, the Keeper of this one had not realized his mistake because this one had chosen to leave his weak-minded son in charge of it.

There was rancid barf around the bottom of it and chunks of spicy chicken wings and cheesy tater tots. The floor was sticky with beer. It made her skin crawl every time she lifted her boot. And worst of all, the portal had clearly become defective. It made a whirring sound. They weren’t supposed to make that noise.

Peytr looked to Derrick for permission to speak.

“It stopped working yesterday,” Peytr said quietly.

“No shit.” She was thoroughly fed up. “These things aren’t toys.”

“Some dude barfed in it.” Derrick laughed. “No idea where it ended up.”

Jaz pulled out the scanner on her phone. It wasn’t an ordinary phone. It was a Plumber’s phone. It provided all of the information needed for a Plumber to fulfill their job. Client information, a portal map, you name it. She waved her phone in front of the portal and it flashed red. No bueno. This would be a long job.

Jaz pulled a small rod from her pocket. It was the size of a pencil.

“Oo! Is that a wand?” Derrick asked.

“Psh. Are you crazy? I’m not a witch. I’m a Plumber.”

She extended it until it grew to the length of her body. She felt it grow warm underneath her grip as it woke up. Sorry about this one, Kara. Don’t hate me for it, she thought. Kara, her staff, would give her the silent treatment after this. She was more temperamental than the rest of her kind.

Her staff lit up and Jaz plunged it into the portal. She raised her scanner again. A yellow light this time. The cleaning was in progress.

“When this is complete,” Jaz addressed Peytr. “I’m closing this portal. You’ve broken our terms of service and this portal will be considered out of commission.” She brought up the Plumber’s Contract that his father had signed previously. It had been updated with a new line to authorize the decommissioning. “Please sign here.”

Peytr was wide-eyed. “Uh… what does this mean?”

“It means that your father is not going to be happy. At all. Your name.” She pushed it forward again and he stretched out a weak finger to sign on her phone. His signature was sloppy.

She turned back to the portal to continue her work. This would involve partial submersion into the portal which was relatively safe given the right expertise. There were nodes inside that only her hands could adjust. Her staff performed most of the cleaning but there would be fine tuning that only a Plumber could perform.

“You’re going to tell my father?” Peytr asked from behind her.

“Yes. That is protocol. The Keeper of the portal must be informed.”

She suddenly felt Derrick at her side. He’d stuck his head in the portal.

“You cannot be in here.” She shoved against him but he was more solidly built than Peytr.

“This is so cool,” he said. “I’m sure I can help. A pretty lady like you can’t do this all on her own.”

“It’s my job, you idiot.”

“I can’t let that happen,” Peytr said under his breath. He pushed her hard and sent her whole body into the portal.

You’ve got to be kidding me! Jaz’s body spun as it fell through the portal. She saw Peytr’s face just before she’d fallen in. There was a smirk. Once he caught her death glare that smirk was wiped cleanly off his face. Then there was the sound of screaming close to her. Derrick had been pushed too. His arms waved wildly and his voice reached octaves that she hadn’t thought possible. He was crying. This is just nice. Realll nice.

Jaz landed on her back and the hot grainy sand drifted into her hair and her ears. Derrick landed on top of her. He was still screaming and crying.

“Open your eyes, pretty boy,” she said. “You’re alive.”

He looked around confused. Jaz was short on patience. She shoved him off.

“Get yourself together.” She stood and brushed herself off.

It was unbelievably arid and dry. There were no clouds in the sky and the sun beat down on the both of them harshly. Her black leather jacket quickly became unbearable and she took it off and wrapped it around her waist. There was unfortunately little she could do about her leather boots.

“You think I’m pretty?” Derrick had gotten ahold of his senses quickly. “You must like me, then.”

“No. I’m contractually obligated to bring you back. Given the choice, I would leave you here.” She looked down on him harshly.

She checked her phone to see where the portal had brought them. The cleaning job hadn’t been completed yet. So it had not been re-calibrated. They could be anywhere.

“The fucking Sahara! That’s just great.” She pulled out sunscreen from her fanny pack and rubbed it over her bare arms and face. It left a faint white mask over her dark brown skin. She donned her sunglasses.

“Uh… can I have some of that?” Derrick still sat on the ground.

“Hell no.”

“But—“ He whimpered as her staff plunged into the ground between his legs. It missed his precious bits by a few inches.

“Oh baby,” she said. “You followed me.” She lifted it from the sand. It immediately shrunk back to it’s original size.

“C’mon, girl. Don’t be that way.” Kara didn’t respond to her. “Don’t you wanna get back home? I can’t do it without you.” It still didn’t respond. Jaz would need to find her own way out of this mess.

She started walking.

“You coming?” She looked back to see Derrick still on the ground.

He ran up behind her.

The heat swarmed Jaz viciously. It snaked through every piece of fabric she wore and dried out her hair.

“Don’t worry, girl. I know what’ll get you going.”

A fly nagged at her. Well, not a fly. It was Derrick. He bombarded her with questions. Where are we going? What are we going to do? Am I going to die here? I can’t die a virgin! She looked up briefly at him at the last one and let it go. She didn’t wish to waste her moisture on him. He seemed to realize this far too late as the dryness grew in his throat.

Jaz had always wanted to go to the Sahara. See the mountains of sand dunes that covered the horizon. But this was not a good first impression. She looked down at her phone. It still had 70% of its juice left. Thank God! Otherwise she wouldn’t be so calm. As they trekked over a large sand dune, her feet sunk into the sand requiring her to use twice as much effort to take a step. Her legs ached and she dreamed of the long bath that we would take. It would be ice cold.

“We’ve made it,” Jaz said.

Derrick looked irritated. He’d grown hoarse.

“We’ve made it where!?” He screamed. “This bit of sand looks just like the same bit of sand that we’ve been walking on for 2 hours straight!”

“Be patient.” She smiled and it stung to do so as the moisture had been stolen from her lips.

This should make things right for you, she thought. Her staff awakened to its full length. There was only one thing that would get Kara out of sour moods and it was an energy hotspot. Energy hotspots could be found aplenty around portals and their destinations. It was just unfortunate that this one happened to be hours away by foot in one of the hottest places on earth. The Plumbers used them for recharging their tools. But Kara was greedier than other tools. She always absorbed more than she needed.

Kara drew in energy eagerly. Jaz felt Kara’s emotions flow through her. Jaz’s eyes glowed as the light from her staff grew brighter. Her tiredness retreated and her thirst was gone. Jaz pointed Kara’s tip high to the sky. Grains of sand whipped around them. Jaz enjoyed this power all too much. Wind pressed down in the spot that they stood and a column of bright blue shot up above Jaz.

“You don’t want to die here do you?” She taunted Derrick.

Derrick quickly held onto her tightly as if she were his mother. Instantly, a stiff coolness drifted over them. The welcoming scent of barf greeted them. They stood in the study again. Derrick still gripped her tightly.

“You can let go now,” she said.

“Oh, of course. Yeah. Sorry…”

The power that she exerted was gone in an instant. Her reserves were tapped too. It put her in all too dull a mood. She would need a week to recharge.

Jaz locked the portal down for good. She was going to catch hell from the Keeper but the contract had been violated and his son had nearly killed her.

Peytr was no longer there. It was for the best. Jaz would’ve thrown him into the bottom of the Mariana Trench if she saw him. But that, of course, was against the rules.

She left a trail of sand down the stairs as she made for the door. Derrick still walked closely to her like he was attached to her hip.

“Don’t you want to grab a drink?” He attempted to look nonchalant. Even though his lips were chapped and red scrapes covered his cheeks.

“Why drinks? I’d rather get straight to business.” Jaz smiled deviously.

She leaned in close to his face. Once he closed his eyes and leaned in, she shot her leg up hitting him in the groin. He fell to the floor, writhing in pain.

She turned to leave and sighed. She was forgetting something. “One more thing.” Jaz marched back to the piss closet and wrangled all of the recruits out of it. “Go back to your own dorms and shower. And never come back unless you want to end up like him.” They looked at Derrick rolling around on the ground. The one who had presumably been ordering them around through the night. They silently followed behind her as she exited the frat house. She looked at the time and it was only 7pm. There was still time to go to the fish market. Trixie would enjoy some fresh East Coast cod.